Gentle parenting more effective than tougher parenting
Parenting is about listening, understanding, responding and communicating. Parents should focus on connecting instead of punishing and encouraging instead of demanding. This form of parenting, known as interactive parenting, is gentler and more effective than harsher parenting methods, such as yelling and spanking.
“It takes focused attention, planning, participation, research, and so much more to be an empathetic, responsive parent who is in tune with their child’s needs and who is prepared to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to meet those needs,” claims R.L. Knost, best-selling parenting and children’s book author.
Knost claims punishment doesn’t work. While it may temporarily control the child’s behavior, it doesn’t control the person. The child may comply to the punishment, but if the parents don’t address the behavior, it’s not effective for very long. This could cause the child to grow into lying, sneaking, anger, outright rebellion, depression, aggression, addictions, etc.
“In order to maintain the temporary effect of controlling behavior, the punishment, or threats of punishment, must constantly be ramped up.”
Harsher punishment, like yelling, escalates constantly. Knost says, “In order to maintain the temporary effect of controlling behavior, the punishment, or threats of punishment, must constantly be ramped up.” This includes popping a tiny hand that leads to smacking a chubby leg and then onto paddling a small bottom. More and more yelling and threats of physical punishment become frequent.
Knost states that addressing the causes of the behavior is a more effective approach that just addressing the behavior itself. This causes a significantly healthier and mutually respectful parent/child relationship than over physical punishment. This will help them overcome their fears and stresses and give them knowledge on how to handle them without engaging in an outburst.